Posts Tagged ‘stupid’

The day I did a Forrest Gump.

I was pretty stupid as a child. Some will say I have retained that quality. They might be correct but that topic is out of scope for this blog. This blog is about my stupidities as a child.

When I was about 8 or 9, there was a large Gulmohar tree infront of my classroom. The tree had low hanging branches, perfect for kids to pretend they were Spiderman. Without the outer-under-wear, ofcourse. No funny masks either.

In a bout of such super-heroedness, during lunch, I was swinging away on the branches, locked in a fierce battle for world domination, with my friends. All super heroes, real or otherwise, outer-under-wear or not, have their arch nemesis. The main villain of this story was the school office clerk. He some how got wind of our super hero activites and we were summoned to the office, post lunch.

The school office was a large room in the main building, attached to a small storage room. The storage room was used to store school stationary and other equipment used in the school. It was a small and stuffy room. It was in this room where the group of, now slightly scared, super heroes found themselves locked.

We were locked for the remainder of the day. The thing I remember most about the locked up period is that we had a lot of fun. We had lots of props around us and the comedy acts never stopped. We hoped that the sounds did not carry outside and so our captors remain unaware of the merriment going on inside the tiny, semi-dark and stuffy room. You can lock up heroes but you can not lock up their spirits or something like that.

An hour after the school time was over, the door opened. We had heard the footsteps approaching and assumed a sufficiently stressed out and scared look. It was friday. We were allowed to leave with only one statement. “Please collect your TCs on Monday”. TCs (Transfer Certificates), for the uninitiated, is what you get when you either leave the school or are thrown out of it. In my mind, I went from being the prodigal son to the black sheep in 3.6 seconds. Beat that Ferrari.

I thought there was no way I could face my parents with this news (due to the aforementioned stupidity). So, I did what any normal 9 year old would do. I decided to run away from home.

A plan was hatched, I told my mother that there was a comedy competition in the Town hall and I was participating. I told her that the competition is on Sunday and rehersals on Saturday. I packed a few cloths for the “dress rehersals”. I had participated in contests in the Town Hall so the story did not make my mother suspicious. Off I went.

The plan included one other kid. Both of us met at the Town Hall. We picked up a road and decided to go till the next town. According to the milestone, it was 18 km away. The Jeep fare for going there was Rs. 2/- per head. We decided to save money and walk all the way. It started getting dark after about a couple of hours of walking and as Mr. Murphy had predicted, with darkness came a slight drizzle.

Now my partner in crime, who shall forever remain nameless *cough* Abhishek *cough*, was not fully sold on the idea of running away in the first place. I would like to believe it was my how_can_you_show_your_face_to_your_parents speech that pushed him off the proverbial edge. Soon after the drizzle, he started getting restless. He mumbled something about wanting to go back to mummy but continued the march forward. Soon enough the sounds of sobbing from left overtook the sounds of thunder from above. This was when I decided to head back.

It was pretty dark and raining. I am from that part of India where street lights mean fireflies. We started the long trek back. A few minutes later a Jeep heading back to town appeared on the road. This time we decided to not worry about the money.

The passengers of the Jeep looked pretty concerned on finding two kids in the middle of nowhere on a dark and rainy night. I gave them a story of trying to go to Aunt’s house, not being able to make it because of the rain and hence returning. Who cares if they were convinced or not. I was going home.

It was pretty late and I was sure my parents would be pretty worried by now. They were. I remember getting one tight slap and that was pretty much it. The topic never came up again. Until now, that is, when I was looking for a story for my funny blog 🙂


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